Inklings

Category: kids

  • Dynamic Duel

    We’ve been reading a new book series to our boys at night – The Extraordinary Adventures of Ordinary Boy. The story centers around superheroes battling supervillains in the city of Superopolis. The main character, ‘O Boy’, is joined by a menagerie of ridiculously named super hero buddies like Halogen Boy, Plasma Girl and Stench to fight as part of LUG (League of Ultimate Goodness). Inspired by the wacky-but-appropriate nomenclature for the book’s heroes we named our dastardly duo – The Antagonizer and Distracta Boy.

    The Antagonizer’s main power is an uncanny ability to zero in on the weaknesses of his opponents before verbally or physically assaulting them repeatedly. It’s important to note that the Antagonizer doesn’t respond well to being antagonized. It just so happens that his kryptonite is being treated like he treats others.

    Distracta Boy has no real notable powers (other than a shrill scream when being attacked directly) but can easily defeat his tormentors by ignoring all forms of communication. If Distracta Boy is ordered to go to his room to make his bed you will find him a half hour later reading books – at the foot of his unmade bed.

    Our little ‘heroes’ spend more time fighting each other than any real villains but have been known on rare occasions to work together to uphold ‘Not Lying, Being Fair and Loving Each Other’.

  • Walking Tall

    Well, it finally happened. Sometime yesterday our oldest son grew up. After weeks of persistent begging, we granted him permission to walk home after school – by himself. Okay, not exactly all by himself (ultimately I think that’s what complicated the decision to allow it).

    He may be a responsible and mature fifth grader, but his little first grade brother is a bit of a… well… he’s a bit of a lallygagger. We live only blocks from the school – a distance the average person can walk comfortably in a matter of minutes, but our littlest one likes to stop and smell the roses – all the roses – along the way. Suddenly that brisk ten minute walk turns into a dawdling twenty minute marathon.

    That wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing except that our oldest likes to stay on somewhat of a schedule (much like his mom). When he gets held up, he gets frustrated and when he gets frustrated he corrects whatever causes that frustration – sometimes forcibly. All we could imagine was our eldest son dragging his little brother screaming bloody murder the whole three blocks home.

    Instead, I’m told, it was quite the opposite. Arriving at the front door roughly ten minutes after school let out was a very proud big brother, smiling ear-to-ear with his little brother happily following a half-step behind him.

    The whole ordeal has been somewhat of a bittersweet rite of passage. We’re proud of the young man our son is becoming but sad to see him grow up so fast. Where did the time go?

  • It’s All Relative

    It’s interesting how kids can be oblivious to the world around them. The things that you would think they would be embarrassed about doing in public don’t even phase them… like throwing a screaming tantrum in the middle of the mall. Other times the most ‘invisible’ thing will become the focus of their self-consciousness… like insisting on wearing non-athletic black shoes with sweatpants because white athletic shoes ‘don’t look good with sweats’ (what?!). I suppose adults can be just as unreasonable at times, but certainly our two worlds seldom are in sync with one another. That’s all part of the fun.

  • It’s the Exciting New Game Sensation…

    We’re grateful that our two boys have each other to entertain, but the close quarter conditions wrought by the long winter is taking its toll. What starts out as innocent conversation during playtime will sometimes turn into an all-out argument. Disagreements arise, tempers flare and the kid with the clear disadvantage will often resort to the cowardly game of mockery. It’s the only technique I can think of that not only requires the least amount of skill or wit but is guaranteed to leave the opponent frustrated and defenseless – unless, of course, they wish to lower themselves to fight on equal terms.

    “Mom, he’s mocking me!” will often be met with, “Well, are you mockworthy?” It’s a valid question when you think of it. The only way to defeat a mocker is to give them nothing to mock. That requires the mockee to ignore the mocker. In our boys’ case that’s harder to do than fighting. Eventually they’ll learn how the game is won, but I fear it will be the hard way.

  • Cubicles

    It’s good that kids have dreams and aspirations. As parents I feel it’s very important to encourage a child to pursue his/her goals. Sometimes their sights are set a bit high and other times… well, not so much. Our seven-year-old expressed a future desire of his just the other day. “Mom, when I get older I want to work in one of those offices where everyone has their own box.” Either he wishes to work in some very large shipping department or he’s referring to a cubicle. Right now it’s funny, but I hope his aspirations evolve into something a little loftier, like maybe a corner office with a nice window view.

  • Salesmanship

    As a parent of school-aged children I see a different side to the ‘salesmanship’ we experienced growing up. At some point or another every child goes through the ‘salesman phase’.

    The (insert organization here) will be conducting a (fundraiser/raffle/lottery) to raise money by selling (insert product here). The child that sells the most (product) will win (a really cheap prize that negates all the hard work the child has done to attain it).

    I understand that kids’ organizations take money to run and I have no problem supporting them but I think these organizations have to understand that not all kids will be salespeople. We have, like many parents, guiltily assumed the role for them because a) it’s safer and less time-consuming than taking them door-to-door and b) our kids aren’t exactly thrilled about selling anything to people they don’t know. Perhaps in doing so we’re cheating them from not learning some valuable life lesson like working hard to accomplish a goal or how to cope with rejection, but I think they’ll experience enough of both when they become teenagers.

  • Love Isn’t Cool When You’re a Kid

    You have to appreciate the independence kids develop as they get older. That’s the only way you’ll be able to deal with what seems like heartbreaking rejection. If you’re not there yet, prepare yourself. There will come a day when you drop your ‘baby’ off at school and he/she will all but ignore you. Don’t even think about giving good-bye hugs or kisses or verbal affirmations of such affection – they’d rather be set on fire than to have their friends witness such mushiness.

    Walking into the school to greet your child after school is tolerated but don’t even think about escorting them onto school property in the morning. Bad idea. I’ve found that a drive-by drop-off is preferred. That way they can enter into the no-demonstrative-love-zone of school without too much of their parents’ being exposed. I never understood why kids want to pretend that they were orphans raised in the wild rather than claim two loving parents. I don’t intend to let them off the hook anytime soon. They’ll have to deal with my loving them publicly at the risk of being embarrassed by it.

  • Bullies

    Every once in a while my oldest comes home with a story. “‘So-and-so’ kept pushing me down today for no reason.” As a parent, playground injustice really lights my torch. Memories of my own childhood bullies come to life and I can empathize easily with what he’s going through.

    Whenever I got picked on I would internalize the anger and later fantasize about getting wantonly violent on their faces. I fear my kid suffers the same condition. There is a part of me that would love to come to his rescue like a paid bodyguard, but then I think about all the collateral damage that would cause. Not only would he be incessantly teased for having his dad fight for him, he would never learn how to deal with ‘difficult people’ later in life.

    Once I stop seeing red, I simply tell him to take the high road by “Turning the other cheek” – though part of me still wants to teach him how to squash the other kid.

  • Icicle Hunters

    The last thaw we had brought about some major water stalactites – also known as icicles. Our boys have become obsessed with hunting and harvesting the largest one. Any icicle-laden structure we drive past, no matter how far from home, instantly transforms our little hunters into beggars.

    “Whoa, look at the size of that one! Please, can we stop?! Please, please, please?!”

    “Um, that icicle happens to be hanging three stories off the ground, so at the risk of being impaled from above and possibly reported for trespassing, I’m going to have to say… ‘no’.”

    The result of our denying their far-reaching conquests for exotic, frozen water has pretty well gleaned the neighborhood of any hanging ice. Though not quite as sizable, the fruits of their local exploits get proudly fanned out on our porch like a set of fine cutlery. We’ve had to confiscate a few larger pieces from being brought into the house and stored in our freezer but overall, it’s good harmless fun. Thankfully, icicle hunting season – and winter – will soon come to an end.

  • Winter Blues

    I knew it would happen eventually. The kids are officially bored with winter. It’s funny how just six months ago they were saying how much they were looking forward to the snow and cooler weather. To some degree their discontentment with the seasons is true for all of us, but as parents we don’t dare let on that we too are fed up with winter. Instead we encourage them to go outside and play in the ‘beautiful’ subzero playground that is our yard (because it’s what they begged for all summer long). They usually last a half hour before coming inside complaining that the snow is too icy to make anything with. I fear that it won’t be long before there is an outbreak of the severely contagious spring fever in the Thorenson household. Oh yippee.