Inklings

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  • Memorable Weather

    smores

    Today we kick-off the eighth annual Memorial Day camping weekend with my in-laws. In that time we’ve experienced all kinds of weather which, if you’re tenting, can make all the difference. Most years the nightly lows would hover just above freezing. Other years we’ve nearly been carried away by the rain and high winds. And two years ago we endured the entire weekend sitting in inches of rain without a campfire due to the ridiculous county-wide fire ban. This year, despite the forecast, looks to be warmer and, for the most part, drier than years past. Regardless of what the weather forecast holds, the tradition has built some amazing memories over the years and continues to be one of the highlights of summer.

  • Perserverance

    perserverance

    The office packing is starting to take its toll on me. For the past couple days I’ve really hit it pretty hard and I think I’ve filled at least a full dumpster and a half with old paperwork. The worst part is, though I hadn’t touched much of any of it over the past ten years, I still feel compelled to go through it all. What kind of sickness is that? Now, with school out and a three day weekend on the horizon it’s time to push it into overdrive. The last thing I want to do is come back to this after a relaxing Memorial Day weekend.

  • Ninja, Hunter, Bear

    ninja_hunter_bear

    My boys introduced me to an alternative approach to decision-making. Everyone’s familiar with Rock, Paper, Scissors but have you heard of Ninja, Hunter, Bear? I have to admit, I was intrigued with how this worked and the boys were so kind as to indulge my curiosity. Turns out it isn’t as discrete as one would hope. You actually stand with your backs toward each other and in duel-like fashion you count to three and do a jump turn to reveal what you are: hands up like claws if you’re a bear, hands up like your aiming down the sight of a rifle if you’re a hunter and one hand out holding a sword and the other back if you’re a ninja.

    It seems to work okay, though logically I think it’s a bit more troublesome. In my mind a hunter with a high-powered rifle should be able to take out a ninja (provided he can see him), but that is not the case. Likewise, a bear defeating a ninja seems unlikely – unless the bear is also a ninja, but I digress. As long as the participants know the trumping rules such analysis isn’t necessary but personally I’d rather stick with the Rock, Paper, Scissors hand-jive.

  • Snipe Hunting

    snipes

    All this wet weather should really bring out the snipes for camping this Memorial Day weekend. Snipe hunting opens after dusk on the Friday before Memorial Day every year and it’s a tradition that’s been kept alive for generations. Surprisingly enough, in all the years we’ve been out hunting we’ve yet to bag one of the buggers. I realize it’s the one species of wildlife that is not under the management of any state game department (that’s why a license isn’t required to hunt them) but I think the world would benefit from a class or two on how to track and identify a snipe. Instead we’ve come to rely on intuition and family tradition to pass this on to future generations.

    As far as I know the snipe species varies like all other animals but legend holds that the rainbow-colored snipe is the most vicious and, contrary to what you might believe, is very hard to spot in the wild. It’s for this reason that I would never suggest going snipe hunting alone. Always bring an adult and two very firm and dry sticks for clicking together (and defense if necessary). I’m not sure if the clicking helps attract or repel the snipe, but past hunts would suggest maybe both.

    In the event that you should see a snipe, be prepared to capture it. Stunning it with one of your calling sticks is recommended before handling any snipe as they are usually antlered and have very sharp claws. A simple pillow case will do the trick (be sure to take the pillow out of it first). Lastly, be sure to lace up your running shoes, because snipes are also very fast. Whether you are pursuing or being pursued you don’t want to be caught in flip-flops.

    There are no books written on the topic of snipe hunting, so hopefully you’ve found these few tips to be somewhat helpful. I think the most important things to remember about snipe hunting are to be safe and have fun. Happy hunting!

  • Countdown to Summer

    summercountdown

    It’s the final stretch! The kids have just four days to Summer Vacation! Today our first-grader has Hawaiian day and he was more than happy to sport the beach print shirt, shorts, lei and sunglasses – even if it is raining all day. I think the final week tends to be more about fun when you’re in grade school. I say, let them have their fun. Soon enough they’ll be all grown up and worrying about the stresses of adult life. But for now we’ll settle for kicking off summer this Friday with a second and sixth grader. How time flies!

  • Bobby Squirrel

    bobbysquirrel

    Today we paid our last respects to the young Bobby Squirrel. We’re not sure when or how he passed, but he wasn’t there last night. His friend Jimmy Squirrel, also deceased, was found a short distance on the other side of our neighbor’s fence. We want to assume that there was no foul play, but the scene certainly seemed suspect. I mean, two squirrel deaths only feet apart in one day. Seems odd. There were no signs of a struggle and both seemed very peacefully at rest. My guess is they had a little get together that involved some power line high jinks.

    Bobby’s eternal resting place is in a marked grave (paper headstone that reads ‘here lies bobby squrill’) behind the sand box, whereas Jimmy was transported by shovel into the neighbor’s garden plot. Rest in peace, squirrels. We didn’t know you. At all.

  • Wallet Raider

    indianajones

    We tried to warn them. Last night, after months of persistent begging, we allowed our two boys to rent the train-wreck that was Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. Unbelievably they both felt that it was as bad as we did. At one point my oldest scoffed, “a flying saucer?! C’mon!” My sentiments exactly.

    As a fan of the original IJ trilogy, I felt Speilberg and Lucas did this only for the money. How else can you explain the 50s cliche-ridden storyline? It’s like they sat down for drinks one day and decided to make a word list of EVERYTHING that comes to mind when you think of the ‘1950s’. I think they succeeded in putting every last one of those items into the film somehow. Atomic bombs. Aliens. Russians. Greasers. Rock ‘n Roll. Tarzan escapades. Spies. Even Indy himself sarcastically utters the slogan from Eisenhower’s presidential campaign as a defiant response to Cate Blanchett’s Irina Spalko (a dead ringer for Natasha from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show).

    Also laughable was the waffling Mac (Roy Winstone), the mush brain Oxley (John Hurt) and the dysfunctional familial banter between Marian (Karen Allen), Indy and Shia LeBeouf’s Mutt Williams. I still believe George and Steve were banking on audiences to fall in love with Mutt so they could pass the fedora and whip on to him for a couple more films (Mutt Williams and the Cardboard Actor, Mutt Williams and the Terrible Moniker).

    I feel bad for panning this movie, but it truly deserves all the Razzies and Rotten Tomatoes it gets. About the only impressive aspect of the film was the fact that the now 67 year-old Harrison Ford looked every bit as young and fit as the 50-something adventurer he was portraying. And that was without special effects. It’s unfortunate that he wasn’t given a more meaty and majestic film to complete the Indy legacy.

  • Risk

    risk

    Last night I spent a picture-perfect evening on the patio with my two boys playing a somewhat civil game of RISK®. I realize that the serious gamer would consider RISK® to be ‘Ameri-trash’ because of its dependency on dice to settle a player’s fate but all things considered, the aptly-named Parker Brothers classic teaches simple strategy and consequence.

    My oldest is so competitive when it comes to games. Any time I was on a lucky roll he would proclaim the game ‘stupid’ and accuse me of picking on him. No matter how many times I tried to explain to him that it takes no particular skill to throw sixes, he was convinced that it wasn’t luck. How quickly his attitude changed when I was the one begging for mercy. Once he and his brother allied with one another they pretty much ‘owned me’. It seemed that no matter how much mojo I threw on those dice I could do nothing but roll ‘cap gun’ ones to their ‘cannon’ fives and sixes. Stupid game!

  • Allergies

    allergies

    Spring is, by far, my favorite season. The temperature is milder and everything’s blooming, growing and green. Unfortunately for some people that means misery. Running nose. Itchy, watery eyes. Sore throat. Coughing. ALLERGIES!

    I’m thankful that I don’t suffer severe seasonal allergies but my poor wife has been sick for close to a month now and I think spring allergies is a large part of it. What started out as strep has lingered on as a nagging cough and running nose. She says that just walking by a blooming tree makes her lungs close up. I think our youngest is affected the same way. I feel guilty for being able to enjoy the great outdoors while they suffer. Can anyone recommend a great over-the-counter allergy medicine?

  • The End of the Beginning

    roadrunnervsspeedie

    Who is faster – Speedy Gonzales or the Road Runner? Indeed it’s a match-up made in Looney Tunes heaven. Both are capable of ridiculous speeds in arid desert climates with no wind-up momentum required. They both can go from zero to Mach 1 in nanoseconds leaving nothing but a trail of dust behind them. We’ve become so accustomed to seeing them outrun Sylvester the Cat and Wile E. Coyote in their own episodes that we can barely ponder the thought of them being pitted against each other. A 1965 short entitled “The Wild Chase” did just that. I can’t believe that Warner Brothers never considered this crossover sooner. Fortunately they never reached Hanna-Barbera status, who was guilty of such shark-jumping to the point of nausea (Laff-A-Lympics anyone?). It ends in a head-scratching finish, but really, what does it matter? To ask such a question is really like trying to determine which SSD is the fastest.