Inklings

Category: parenting

  • It’s the Exciting New Game Sensation…

    We’re grateful that our two boys have each other to entertain, but the close quarter conditions wrought by the long winter is taking its toll. What starts out as innocent conversation during playtime will sometimes turn into an all-out argument. Disagreements arise, tempers flare and the kid with the clear disadvantage will often resort to the cowardly game of mockery. It’s the only technique I can think of that not only requires the least amount of skill or wit but is guaranteed to leave the opponent frustrated and defenseless – unless, of course, they wish to lower themselves to fight on equal terms.

    “Mom, he’s mocking me!” will often be met with, “Well, are you mockworthy?” It’s a valid question when you think of it. The only way to defeat a mocker is to give them nothing to mock. That requires the mockee to ignore the mocker. In our boys’ case that’s harder to do than fighting. Eventually they’ll learn how the game is won, but I fear it will be the hard way.

  • Cubicles

    It’s good that kids have dreams and aspirations. As parents I feel it’s very important to encourage a child to pursue his/her goals. Sometimes their sights are set a bit high and other times… well, not so much. Our seven-year-old expressed a future desire of his just the other day. “Mom, when I get older I want to work in one of those offices where everyone has their own box.” Either he wishes to work in some very large shipping department or he’s referring to a cubicle. Right now it’s funny, but I hope his aspirations evolve into something a little loftier, like maybe a corner office with a nice window view.

  • Salesmanship

    As a parent of school-aged children I see a different side to the ‘salesmanship’ we experienced growing up. At some point or another every child goes through the ‘salesman phase’.

    The (insert organization here) will be conducting a (fundraiser/raffle/lottery) to raise money by selling (insert product here). The child that sells the most (product) will win (a really cheap prize that negates all the hard work the child has done to attain it).

    I understand that kids’ organizations take money to run and I have no problem supporting them but I think these organizations have to understand that not all kids will be salespeople. We have, like many parents, guiltily assumed the role for them because a) it’s safer and less time-consuming than taking them door-to-door and b) our kids aren’t exactly thrilled about selling anything to people they don’t know. Perhaps in doing so we’re cheating them from not learning some valuable life lesson like working hard to accomplish a goal or how to cope with rejection, but I think they’ll experience enough of both when they become teenagers.

  • Love Isn’t Cool When You’re a Kid

    You have to appreciate the independence kids develop as they get older. That’s the only way you’ll be able to deal with what seems like heartbreaking rejection. If you’re not there yet, prepare yourself. There will come a day when you drop your ‘baby’ off at school and he/she will all but ignore you. Don’t even think about giving good-bye hugs or kisses or verbal affirmations of such affection – they’d rather be set on fire than to have their friends witness such mushiness.

    Walking into the school to greet your child after school is tolerated but don’t even think about escorting them onto school property in the morning. Bad idea. I’ve found that a drive-by drop-off is preferred. That way they can enter into the no-demonstrative-love-zone of school without too much of their parents’ being exposed. I never understood why kids want to pretend that they were orphans raised in the wild rather than claim two loving parents. I don’t intend to let them off the hook anytime soon. They’ll have to deal with my loving them publicly at the risk of being embarrassed by it.

  • Bullies

    Every once in a while my oldest comes home with a story. “‘So-and-so’ kept pushing me down today for no reason.” As a parent, playground injustice really lights my torch. Memories of my own childhood bullies come to life and I can empathize easily with what he’s going through.

    Whenever I got picked on I would internalize the anger and later fantasize about getting wantonly violent on their faces. I fear my kid suffers the same condition. There is a part of me that would love to come to his rescue like a paid bodyguard, but then I think about all the collateral damage that would cause. Not only would he be incessantly teased for having his dad fight for him, he would never learn how to deal with ‘difficult people’ later in life.

    Once I stop seeing red, I simply tell him to take the high road by “Turning the other cheek” – though part of me still wants to teach him how to squash the other kid.

  • Icicle Hunters

    The last thaw we had brought about some major water stalactites – also known as icicles. Our boys have become obsessed with hunting and harvesting the largest one. Any icicle-laden structure we drive past, no matter how far from home, instantly transforms our little hunters into beggars.

    “Whoa, look at the size of that one! Please, can we stop?! Please, please, please?!”

    “Um, that icicle happens to be hanging three stories off the ground, so at the risk of being impaled from above and possibly reported for trespassing, I’m going to have to say… ‘no’.”

    The result of our denying their far-reaching conquests for exotic, frozen water has pretty well gleaned the neighborhood of any hanging ice. Though not quite as sizable, the fruits of their local exploits get proudly fanned out on our porch like a set of fine cutlery. We’ve had to confiscate a few larger pieces from being brought into the house and stored in our freezer but overall, it’s good harmless fun. Thankfully, icicle hunting season – and winter – will soon come to an end.

  • Cold Cereal

    My kids hate breakfast. Well, at least cold cereal. There isn’t much, besides Frosted Mini Wheats, that they’ll tolerate. At first I thought it was because our line-up included bland fare like Cheerios and Oatmeal Squares, but they don’t even get excited about Froot Loops or Trix! As a kid, we lived on cereal. It was the one meal that we didn’t need any prodding to eat. I can appreciate the fact that it’s a low maintenance, quick meal. I just wish my kids would reconsider – I get tired of preparing granny omelets and french toast every morning.

  • Parenting

    After this week I can honestly say, I prefer man-to-man coverage over zone! My wife left on a four-day business trip Monday and flew in last night. Don’t misunderstand, the four days with my boys was really nice bonding time but parenting definitely requires a partnership between committed individuals! In my opinion, it takes equal contributions from a Dad and a Mom. I discovered this week that there are certain roles that only Mom can fill (physically, emotionally and physiologically). No matter how hard a person tries, Dad can’t be a Mom (and Mom can’t be a Dad). I feel for all those individuals that are enduring single parenthood. No one should have to do the job of two people themselves!

  • Where the Wild Things Were

    Whenever my boys act up in public, I feel like the karma train has hit me. My younger brother and I were often “wild” when the family took an outing and were always scolded by my mother to stop whatever it was we were doing (which was usually just picking on each other). In department stores we would hide in the clothes racks or loiter in the toy aisles long enough to get lost. In supermarkets we’d fight over who got to squeeze into the cart’s bottom shelf or play hide-and-seek. One time we took turns in a restaurant nonchalantly pacing the floor while selectively stamping on a ketchup packet. We finally succeeded and exploded that thing all over the walls and whoever had walked by. Yes, my parents (and my two sisters) were saints for putting up with us boys. At least I know what to expect.